Friday, March 16, 2012


The care plan meeting this week went much as I expected, but the conclusions were still hard to hear. The bloodwork showed some things that need to be addressed, but nothing that would account for Mom's lack of progress. The new CT scan has yet to be done. But the consensus is that Mom has plateaued, which means she's recovered about as much as she is likely to. Not that further recovery is impossible. But from here on, no major improvements are expected.

This is devastating news. In terms of quality of life, I'd have to say that Mom's place in that continuum is pretty low. I'm sure she would say so too. Her manner seems more and more miserable each time I see her. To think that she's more-or-less stuck in this place is almost unbearable.

But bear it, we must. Now I need to turn my attention to finding a permanent nursing home for Mom. The subacute facility she's in now is short-term only. I have a list of homes affiliated with the facility; and since the current place has been good so far, I'll start my research with that list. I've talked to Mom's primary care doctor, and he'll give me his opinion of the places I end up considering. Fortunately there's a lot of information online too. But it's going to be a difficult decision, no matter what help I can get.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling pretty stuck myself. I can't be so selfless as to ignore how all this will affect me. These last several months, I've been feeling that my current job isn't one I want to keep much longer. More recent events have only increased my temptation to job hunt. My responsibilities to Mom already made me feel that my choices were limited, especially if moving were required. Now, I don't see how I can move at all. I'm also loosing more time and energy, physical and mental, to do the kind of skill building I need to move my career in the direction I think I want to go. Knowing that other people manage to balance all this and more doesn't help with my own ability to cope just now. I hope I can at least get myself unstuck mentally, and soon. The rest? I just don't know.


Dragonsally said...

Sending you loads of love and virtual support.

Do other people really balance all of this? I think its more a matter of just trudging on, because we have no option. That's what I'm doing anyway.

Huge hugs for you.

Marjorie said...

More hugs.

Also, do remember that this is still very early days for you, in terms of coping with what has happened, and the demands, both physical and emotional, that it is making on you, and the news you've had in the last few days, about you Mom having reached a plateau, is another, new blow.

Stress is incredibly draining, and you haven't had long at all, plus from what yoiu've said, you are currently using a lot of mental energy organising things such as research into the next stage of your Mom's care, and all of the practical arrangments relating to her apartment. You may find that once those issues are resolved you start to have a little bit more mental space for other things, such as career progression.

Right now, all I can offer is sympathy.